Monday, March 29, 2010

The Teabagger Anti-Socialist Pledge

The Teabagger Anti-Socialist Pledge -

If you don't like socialism, then don't take part in it. Towards that end, I suggest that the next time you run up against one of these TeaBaggin fools, get them to sign this pledge:

I, ________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls. Also.

I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

· Social Security

· Medicare/Medicaid

· State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)

· Police, Fire, and Emergency Services

· US Postal Service

· Roads and Highways

· Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)

· The US Railway System

· Public Subways and Metro Systems

· Public Bus and Lightrail Systems

· Rest Areas on Highways

· Sidewalks

· All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations)

· Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)

· Public and State Universities and Colleges

· Public Primary and Secondary Schools

· Sesame Street

· Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children

· Public Museums

· Libraries

· Public Parks and Beaches

· State and National Parks

· Public Zoos

· Unemployment Insurance

· Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services

· Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)

· Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)

· Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)

· Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking

· Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies

· Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies

If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care

I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:

· Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History

· The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments

· The government-operated Statue of Liberty

· The Grand Canyon

· The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials

· The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery

· All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC

I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.

Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.





Printed Name/Town and State
(thanks, One Pissed Off Veteran!)

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